U.S. Olympic swimmer Lydia Jacoby is on top of the world.
At the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, she won the gold medal in the 100-meter breaststroke, clocking the fastest time ever by an American female swimmer (1:04.95).
But soon after returning home to Alaska, the then 17-year-old Jacoby learned in real time that his life had gone from unknown athlete to world famous.
During a conversation on NBC Sports' “My New Favorite Olympian” podcast, Jacoby detailed the difficulties of going through depression.
“After the Olympics, you're really pulled in so many directions,” she says. “I really love making people happy, so I was like, 'I want to do this for everyone.' And at a certain point, I felt like I'd given it all and I didn't have anything left.”
“I went through periods of extreme depression,” she added. “There were weeks where I didn't want to live life anymore, and weeks where I just stayed in bed.”
Jacoby's newfound fame caused people to treat her differently, and she began to question people's motives.
“It's natural that some people will suddenly want to start posting. [photos] “I wanted to spend more time with you and have more company,” she says. “I started having some pretty serious trust issues, especially when meeting new people. Like, 'Does this person really want to get to know me? Or are they just excited because I'm an Olympian and want to be like that?' It was really holding me back from developing more friendships and maintaining old ones.”
Jacoby's struggles with mental health also extended to the swimming pool, a place she often sought refuge in. She said her depression worsened after she left high school early and lost her sense of routine, leading her to dislike swimming.
“I was swimming, but I always half-heartedly showed up to practice, never fully committed,” she said. “For a while, I lost interest in swimming and even considered quitting.”
Jacoby's struggles with post-competition depression are not uncommon: other high-profile Olympians, including Missy Franklin, Simone Biles and Natalie Coughlin, have spoken out about similar experiences with mental health.
Performance psychologist Michael Gervais says top athletes can sometimes struggle to find purpose after having clear Olympic goals.
“when [competition] “You start to wonder: What happens next? Who am I? What do I do now? Those two questions can leave you with a deep emptiness,” Gervais says. “And it can feel like regular depression, and if it lasts for a long time, it can become a depression that you have to treat and get through.”
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The change of scenery seemed to help Jacoby's journey.
In 2022, she moved out of her small town home and enrolled at the University of Texas at Austin, allowing her to get used to life as a regular college student and no longer have to endure being the center of attention.
“I was ready to try something new,” she said. “I'd reached the pinnacle of my sport and just wasn't sure where to go next, so moving to Texas was a great choice in that regard.”
She also realised it was important to recognise her mental health issues and accepted to attend therapy.
“I wasn't accepting that I was experiencing depression or anything,” Jacoby said. “I think the biggest thing for me was realizing and accepting that I was suffering from depression and I was suffering from other things, and that help was what I actually needed.”
Jacoby, who will compete in the 100m breaststroke at the U.S. Olympic Trials this weekend, now wants to help others struggling with mental health by sharing his story.
When she received USA Swimming's Perseverance Award at last year's Golden Goggles ceremony, she spoke to attendees about her struggles. Jacoby said several people came up to her after her speech and told her how inspiring her words were.
For Jacoby, if sharing his story can help others, it makes it all worthwhile.
“I don't just share my mental health story for the sake of getting the word out,” she says, “but if just one person hears what I've been through and seeks help, that would mean the world to me.”
If you or someone you know is in distress or crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat to 988 Lifeline.
