STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — The first question on Saturday night's Mixed Zone was about wrestling, and whether or how this Olympic Trials victory felt different from his last. Ta. But Kyle Dake didn't want to talk about wrestling. At least not yet.
Nine days earlier, on a typical Thursday, the 2021 Olympic bronze medalist was getting ready for practice when her phone rang and she learned that her father, Doug, had passed away. He was 62 years old.
“This is the first time I've had to do something like this without him,” the 33-year-old said through tears Saturday night. “I really miss him and wish he was here.”
Dake earned a ticket to the 2024 Paris Olympics on Saturday with a narrow victory in the best-of-three finals against Nittany Lion Wrestling Club teammate Jason Nolf. This is the latest chapter in his storied career and the fulfillment of a goal he has been chasing for three years. But that wasn't his only goal, he said. It belonged to them – him and his father.
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“We wanted to go to the Big Ten, then the NCAA, and then… get here,” Dake said, pausing to compose himself. “I was hanging out with him a lot. He'd just say, 'How's practice going? Who did you play today?'” He's been a big part of this whole journey for me. It was occupied. It's really hard not having him here. ”
An obituary published in the Ithaca Voice said Doug Dake passed away peacefully at his home in Lansing, New York, but the cause of death was not disclosed. Kyle said his father was battling an illness.
“I went through a lot trying to help him. I watched him suffer,” the 33-year-old said. “It gives you a lot of perspective on how big of a game this is. You just have to go out there and do your best and be grateful for the opportunity. Yeah, it's just hard. It's just hard.”
Dake said her father became “seriously ill” in early 2024. She recalled coming home at 3 a.m. on February 26 after winning the Pan American Wrestling Championship and hearing from her mother, Jody, that her father was unwell. You're doing well. So he and his wife Megan packed up their kids and went to visit him.
“I'll take care of him,” Dake said. “The doctors told him he had one day to live, one more day to live. And he was just like, 'What are you talking about? I'm not going to die.'”
“(He) just wanted more time. He just wanted to be home and be with his family. And every time I see him, we just hug and just love each other. , and we told each other how proud he was of me.”
Dake said he is grateful for the support he has received from his coaches and teammates over the past 10 days. They all reached out to him to offer their condolences and to help in whatever small way they could.
One of those teammates, David Taylor, said in a press conference earlier this week that he probably knows Dake as much as he knows any other players he's played against in the sport. And as much as he knows Dake, he said, he also knows Dake's father. He was a former All-American wrestler at Kent State University and later coached wrestling in upstate New York for more than 20 years.
“Doug loved Kyle, and Doug loved wrestling,” Taylor said. “…Doug wants nothing more than for Kyle to be at his best and compete.”
Although wrestling strengthened their bond and brought them great joy, Dake said his fondest memories of his father will not be as a coach, but as “Grumpy” to his three children. And his father regularly told him, “He really loved watching me become a father,” he said.
When asked what his father would say to him in this moment of qualifying for his second Olympic Games, Dake said it was a no-brainer.
“He'll say he loves me,” he said.
“…I know he's watching me. He's with me the whole time.”
Contact Tom Schad at tschad@usatoday.com or on social media @Tom_Schad.
